December 17, 2006

Jews: The Gamblin' Kind Even in New York, December is a time during which we Jews most often feel the sting of the goyim, as they light their trees and play their Crosby. It's no secret, either, that little Jewish boys and girls like myself have for years pined to be included in the festivities. Lucky for me, however, many gentile friends have come through. Nevertheless, there remains that gaping hole of tired forgetfulness on behalf of ...everyone else. "Is it 'Hanukkah' or 'Chanukkah?'" "Did it start already?" "Is it over yet?" "Eight days! Wow, you must get SO many presents!" "So do you celebrate Christmas?" "Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made it out of clay..." [Yes, it's a song that people of the Jewish faith sing one month per year!]" I may have contributed to the gruesome death of Jesus, but I sure as hell don't think that punishment should come in the form of being bombarded by retards. I'd much rather be mildly offended by spam mail that touts a banner such as the one below that showed up in my inbox today: Holy Goldfarb! Moishe, Rebecca, and Joshua sure are excited about winning that $10,000! Imagine what one could buy with that kind of cash: a rhinoplasty, a timeshare in Aruba, or a hat tall enough to cover those unsightly horns! Goodbye, Yale Law loans, hello MoMA membership! Xtreme Dreidel is like Online Poker for people with tight curls and Nordstrom credit cards, and how better to avoid the exclusion of Christmas? I can smell the $10,000 already! Actually, my sinuses have kicked in again, so that's pretty much a bust...
Nikola Tamindzic, Photographer Extraordinaire or Magician Of Sexiness? Last week, Gawker made a big to-do about their resident photographer, Nikola Tamindzic, a man whose ability to make each and every subject of his photos look as if s/he were born with skin as smooth as a Jodeci slow jam. Tricia Romano of The Village Voice says herself that his photos make everyone look "better," and it's true. Gabriel Delahaye, writer and blogger, was the guinea pig in Gawker's first Pinup Gallery, a recurring piece that will feature pictorals of those in "the industry." And what a handsome guinea pig he was: Gabriel Delahaye of The Unethicist and Worker #3116 has a lovely face. His features - the cute Semitic nose, the fluffy pseudo-fro, the rich beard and deep brown eyes - all equate to One Sexy Jew whose body isn't so bad, either. On the other hand, however, it's both the context laid out by Gawker as well as Nikola Tamindzic's ever-flattering style that, in a way, force Delahaye's brood - at least in my mind - to be a decidedly sexy one. He may not be as attractive in person, but perhaps that's what does the trick in the first place: the realization that Delahaye is, in fact, a real person, an attainable, young urbanite whose otherwise-adorable visage is catapulted into a realm of Hotness simply by being called as such by the team behind one of the most exclusively cool corners of the blogosphere, if not all of New York media. It goes without saying that cute Jewboys are often irresistable to dorky queerbombs like myself, but who knew that such a sentiment could find competition in an Indian dude? Former Gawker intern, College Humor contributor, Assistant Editor at Radar Magazine, and ironic tee shirt model, Neel Shah is a dreamboat. Gawker is flooded with e-mails every time his picture is posted, and understandbly so. A little e-stalking provided me with several items about Shah, including the fact that he grew up two towns east of me on Long Island. He's also a Dartmouth alumnus and considers Vermont his favorite American state. Most importantly, however, is that Neel Shah single-handedly cements facial hair as the hottest accessory to accompany a broad-shouldered stud whose dick size is the farthest thing on my mind. Nikola Tamindzic knew what he was doing when he took shots of Shah at various parties. And, hey, if he didn't, Shah can take even more pride in the fact that he tops Fast Hugs's list of The Hottest Indian Male Overachievers In New York Media Under 30 And Named Neel Shah.

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