Anthony Bourdain is looking for a somebody to help plan, produce, and co-host an episode of No Reservations for Travel Channel.
We at the ABNR office have been culling through tons and tons of viewer-submitted videos, and similar themes surface throughout almost all of them: Suburban America is depressing, and most Americans can't be bothered to shoot on anything that isn't a Canovision 8mm.
Here, in all its glory, is the saddest video of all, one that simultaneously incorporates death, guilt, mispronunciation, and a killer hair-do modeled after Vanna White's look at the 1988 Daytime Emmy Awards.

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