But thank to one mere podcast, the winds of change have blown through and enlightened me to the broad charm employed by Miss Parker herself, Mo'Nique (sorry, Telma Hopkins!).
On a recent episode of PRI's Fair Game, Mo spoke with lovely hostess Faith Salie, which was like Mr. T going tête à tête with Tinkerbell. But despite Faith's repeated requests to befriend Mo'Nique (which smelled a little like Caucasian Guilt, if you ask me), the two got along smashingly, and provided one of the most colorful interviews I've ever heard.
In discussing her message of female empowerment among fat women (a refreshingly truthful departure from the saccharine, nonsensical post-feminist bullshit commonly spewed by skanky pop tarts), Mo'Nique calls on the righteousness of carrying "a Snicker in your pocketbook."
Faith, the silly white girl that she is, poses the question to Mo'Nique as to whether or not she would share her candy with a friend. Even with her "stylist and best friend" Rhonda seated next to her during the interview, Mo'Nique takes a moment to truly digest the question before replying, "My SNICKA!?" In a polite yet passionate rebuttal, Mo (continuing to refer to her Snickers in the singular, to my utter delight) claims that she needs it to "satisfy" her, and that if she were, indeed, asked for a bite, she could only respond with "a little violence in [her] eye."
So consider yourself warned: nothing comes between Mo'Nique and her Snicka.
But I'd still offer her a piece of mine, even if she did eat the whole thing.