'Pride' & Prejudice [NSFW-ish!]

Every June brings two events that make me very nervous:  my birthday and Gay Pride. 

Last year, I vowed that by my 24th birthday, I'd be doing something I love full-time.  While that's only become about half-true (I'm working on it), I'm happy to say that Fast Hugs will enjoy its one-year anniversary in just two months.  And after finding relatively quick linkage on Gawker, Defamer, and Best Week Ever (as well as an equal amount of fawning e-mail and notes of seething hatred), I'm looking forward to the future on this crazy place we call The Infranet.  Having parlayed my small web presence into other outlets, as well, I imagine that with continued persistance (and continued diatribes about the crazy and excessive), I might one day become the Perez Hilton of self-effacing anecdotes and meditations on Tony Danza.

In the meantime, let's find out what really goes on at the grand spectacle that is the Gay Pride Parade and just why I happen to be out of town every time the festivities roll around:

Need a babysitter?

Speaking of kids, guess who's looking to adopt?

I must admit that, at the very least, Pride events allow us to reflect on the gay community's adherance to a lifestyle which eschews the restrictions of a society that tells us how to behave.

(Unless, of course, you have a Raz-r.  You should really get a Raz-r.  Selected models on sale now!)

"Brr!  Cold for June,  huh?"

And then there are the religious zealots who just can't help but rain on our parade.  Every goddamned year, man.

"All I want is to be treated like an ordinary citizen!"

You've got to fight for your right ...to foreskin?

Is it possible to get AIDS by looking?

Dear Maurice Sendak,

I know where the wild things are.

Love,

Me

Comments

[MonkeyPants]

Well... guess I won't be reading you anymore.

[Mr. Shain]

OMG-where did you get that picture of my dad with the green boots?

[Jean-Chris Miller]

Hey, you know what would be really funny? A pic of an emaciated African child with the caption, "Can you get AIDS just from looking?"
Douche.

[Tyler]

As a recent gay, I'm still not likely to be found at any pride parades.

[Marlo]

ha ha ha !!! AIDS is funny !!! gays spread AIDS !!!

jackass.

[trevkong]

Could have saved yourself the trouble of html, and server space by just writing "i hate them gays" maybe in big red letters. Yes, i think the spectacle is tacky and sort of outdated, but so are your views.

[nystudman]

1st and last time I'll look at your site. You didn't have to tell me you were in your early 20s. Your faux rebellion against the (supposed) gay "status quo" and general wah-wah snottiness gives it away instantly.

Trust me, in your 30s, you'll look back on this blog with complete embarassment.

[NY L7]

no, i think fast hugs is saying the slutty ass skank hos with the gross man tans that just so happen to also be homosexuals might look like they spread AIDS. just a little bit. get over yourselves, gays. it's funny! we can only heal through laughter. namaste...

[Mr. Shain]

as a gay, i have to disagree with nystudman's comments. also, i'd like to note that his handle is "nystudman". i think that clears up a lot really. also, you can't get AIDS by looking, by you can get it when they spray their man-chowder in your eye. so not too close boys!

[GetOverYourselves]

As a fellow gay man - LIKE THE OP - I must also say I find these parades abhorrant in almost the exact same ways. Albeit AIDS is certianly NOT a funny issue or one to be cast aside willi-nilly, I do not see the OP actually DOING this. It was a hyperbole, a figure of speech meant to do nothing more then imply the severe skank, inappropriate, terrible-ness of the image he showed.

I'm sorry, but the idea of a Gay Pride Parade is wonderful, innocent, and meaningful. But sadly on execution it stops being "Gay Pride" and quickly evolves into a "Gay Fetish" Parade. Just look at those picture! While I know for a fact that that is not the majority of those attending, it is extremely prominent, and quickly growing to BE the majority who attend these things? Why? because, most likely, all the less flamboyant or extreme gay people are turned off and away, much like the OP and I are.

The oversensitivity towards his *opinion* of the current state of Pride Parades is pathetic. Take the criticism and do what you will with it, but recognize this is NOT an attack on gay people but moreso an attack on the overall lack of any real message in these events.

Hell, I'm pretty sure the actual existence of the content within these parades is a small contributing factor to the societal idea that all gay men are fetish freaks and sexual deviants.

[moogaboo]

Gay pride parades are SO ridiculous and tacky, I love that someone's ballsy enough to lampoon them from the inside out. I'm proud of being gay, but the parades long ago lost their luster. Tacky, middle aged white guys with no sense of style and nothing relevant to say.

[bee]

1) i agree with mr. shain.

2) gay pride parades pale in comparison to the wonder that is the celebration of sisterhood at smith college. there is a head shaving booth.

[Topncal]

Eliot,

You have it all wrong. Maybe you need to take a moment to be educated in gay history. The Gay rights movement started with some drag queens. How soon us younger generations want to forget. Every time you see a drag queen or leather daddy you should thank then that you can have a life where you get to be open an honest about who you are.

In an email you wrote to Jester of Jestertunes. You said... To me, it’s retrogressive and won’t make it any easier for a stodgy conservative to shuck his original beliefs and decide that gays (at least those who he sees on the local news the night after the parade) deserve the right to marry and adopt.

What you are saying is it will be easier for the conservative to accept a socially acceptable gay man. That is the problem. It is that thought process. You want all gays to be like them. Like straight people. I got news for you we are not. I will not be marginalized into their lifestyle.

My relationship has meaning not because of some stupid piece of paper. Or because the White rich middle age republican says it does. Who the fuck at they to tell me if my relationship is valid.

The gay community needs to band together and fight for the things that matter. Like not getting fired from your job just because you like boys. Or that we stop being treated like child molesters when we are not. You know I took me a long time to figure out what being gay is about. I hope one day you learn to stop hating who you are and accept yourself and your community that has been accepting of you

[fast_hugs]

Lighten the eff up, creeps!

Gay Shame starts at home (give it up for my man, Choire Sicha):

http://gawker.com/news/and-the-brand-played-on/the-great-gay-train-snobbery-268028.php

[Ron Low]

You CAN fight for an infant's right to grow with normal non-mutilated genitals.

Go to MGMBill.org to help enact a law in the US giving boys the same protection girls enjoy.

Go to NoCirc.org to help support education for prospective parents on how to say no to circumcsion.

Go to NORM.org for help re-growing your own foreskin.

[cap'n guthrie]

this post is hilarious. and Jean-Chris Miller is an idiot: most people in Africa are dying from TB not AIDS, they just say its AIDS so they get the medical attention.

Good job on flame war number two Eliot, you're on your way to the top!

[Mikey]

wow, people really got riled about this one. i read all the way down to that open letter, but then i fell asleep in my own barf. do you think Sasha could hook us up with a gay history tutor?

[Alprazolam]

Hell, I'm pretty sure the actual existence of the content within these parades is a small contributing factor to the societal idea that all gay men are fetish freaks and sexual deviants