Even in New York, December is a time during which we Jews most often feel the sting of the goyim, as they light their trees and play their Crosby. It's no secret, either, that little Jewish boys and girls like myself have for years pined to be included in the festivities. Lucky for me, however, many gentile friends have come through.
Nevertheless, there remains that gaping hole of tired forgetfulness on behalf of ...everyone else.
"Is it 'Hanukkah' or 'Chanukkah?'"
"Did it start already?"
"Is it over yet?"
"Eight days! Wow, you must get SO many presents!"
"So do you celebrate Christmas?"
"Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made it out of clay..." [Yes, it's a song that people of the Jewish faith sing one month per year!]"
I may have contributed to the gruesome death of Jesus, but I sure as hell don't think that punishment should come in the form of being bombarded by retards. I'd much rather be mildly offended by spam mail that touts a banner such as the one below that showed up in my inbox today:
Holy Goldfarb! Moishe, Rebecca, and Joshua sure are excited about winning that $10,000! Imagine what one could buy with that kind of cash: a rhinoplasty, a timeshare in Aruba, or a hat tall enough to cover those unsightly horns! Goodbye, Yale Law loans, hello MoMA membership! Xtreme Dreidel is like Online Poker for people with tight curls and Nordstrom credit cards, and how better to avoid the exclusion of Christmas?
I can smell the $10,000 already!
Actually, my sinuses have kicked in again, so that's pretty much a bust...
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